I have very little faith. My default setting is worry. It would be reasonable to think I would have unshakable faith after recording pages and pages of answers to prayer in my prayer journal. However I always seem to wonder if God is going to fail me “this time.”
In a recent post, I wrote about God clearly speaking to me at a retreat where I decided I was no longer going to speak. Playing bible roulette landed me at a passage meant specifically to say “keep at it.” The retreat was a success and I left the weekend feeling elated.
As I made the long drive home, my euphoria quickly turned to apprehension as I thought of how much money still needed to be raised for mine and my daughter’s upcoming mission trip with a group from our church to Ecuador. We still had $2640 out of $3200 to raise.
Although support letters were sent, we didn’t have many people to send them to and most had already contributed. The only other possibility on the horizon was the garage sale we planned in which all proceeds would go toward our mission trip. But in all reality, I knew a simple garage sale would not bring in all the funds needed.
I prayed half-heartedly and wondered how in the world God could come through. Two days later, I received a call from the church secretary. She informed me a check came in for our trip. It was from a couple we are friends with but haven’t seen in 2 years. They have 3 young children. When I inquired how much it was for, she nonchalantly said, $2000. I was stunned speechless.
I asked her to repeat herself and then immediately began arguing it must be a mistake. To convince me, the secretary sent a picture of the check to my phone. It took about 10 minutes for the reality to sink in and then I just melted to the floor.
So many emotions were warring within me. Deeply moved by our friend’s generosity, I felt shame that I’m not that giving. I was also feeling serious regret for doubting God. At the same time, I was incredibly relieved at the weight taken off my shoulders. All these emotions became so overwhelming I ended up bawling. And once I started crying I could not stop. I cried all day long.
Before the week was over, another donation came in bringing our need down to $615. I no longer doubted the rest of the money would be raised for our trip.
Blessings always follow obedience.
Psalm 24:4-5, “He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”
Is there an area where you are fearful God will fail you? Allow us to encourage you by sharing in the comments below.
Stay tuned when I share the story of our amazing garage sale tomorrow.
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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson