After coming through the gate for our local High School’s football game on a clear and cool Friday evening, people from our small town began asking my husband and me if we had seen our daughter, Calan, yet.
Being 15 years old, Calan had asked to go to a friend’s house after school. From there, she went straight to the game. Therefore, I had not seen her since that morning. So the repeated question made me wonder what she had done.
As we made our way to our seats, many friends smiled and simply shook their heads. Whatever Calan had done was obviously entertaining. My interest and curiosity mounted.
Suddenly our attention turned toward the field as our team scored a touchdown. The cheerleaders began to cheer loudly and the band struck up a triumphant tune. It was then I spotted her.
Running down the sideline carrying a gigantic school flag was Calan. Her entire face was painted red and white and she wore red pants with vertical black stripes. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
A face-painting, wacky-dressing, super fan?!
This was not what I expected. I wasn’t sure how to feel. What would her peers think? What would my friends think? What would the teachers and administrators think?
A friend sitting nearby read the emotions on my face and said, “She’s a great girl who is very well liked. She hangs out with a great group of girls and she is her own person unafraid of what others think. Other parents would love to be in your shoes.”
Wisdom just when I needed it most.
I thought of my daily prayers for her. Each day of her life I’ve asked God to give her confidence and boldness. I’ve prayed for her to be well liked and not to lose her self-assurance when someone dislikes her.
However, my expectations in those prayers included her standing up for her convictions when challenged, wearing modest clothes rather than racy styles, liking what she sees in the mirror, and being thankful for the person God made her to be. Not this display of super fan craziness in front of me.
As I sat there contemplating, I realized she is confident and not only stands up for her convictions but does it respectfully. Sweatpants and t-shirts are her preferable clothing rather than anything revealing. She doesn’t feel the need to wear makeup to increase her likability and embraces the personality qualities God gave her.
My eyes wandered back to the girl running up and down the field looking like a lunatic. My heart swelled with the love I felt for her.
I couldn’t deny the fun Calan was having while being confident and bold. Cheerleaders and football players were giving her high fives as she ran past. Students were cheering her on as well as the parents. Teachers and parents alike were laughing and complimenting her courage. Everyone was having fun!
When my daughter does not live up to my expectations I have to stop and reflect. Many times, I come to the realization it isn’t my daughter who needs to change but my own desires.
When I truly consider the person God created, Calan far exceeds any of my own expectations.
This post is part of Jill Savage’s Third Thursday Blog Hop. To read more about today’s topic, “No More Perfect Kids,” click here.
UPDATE: This post is featured in Jill Savage’s book, No More Perfect Moms. Order your copy here.
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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson