Archives For criticism

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“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..” ~ Jeremiah 1:5a

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  ~ Psalm 139:13-14

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  ~ Psalm 139:16

“God created you with a longing to know you are significant, accepted and secure – and then He met that need through Jesus. You are LOVED with measureless grace and affection.”  ~ Renee Swope A Confident Heart 

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~ Steve Furtick

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  ~ 1 John 3:1a

“The way we continually talk about our own inabilities is an insult to our Creator.” ~ Oswald Chambers

“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can’t see it. So quietly submit to be painted. i.e., keep fulfilling all the obvious duties of your station (you really know quite well enough what they are!), asking forgiveness for each failure and then leaving it alone. You are in the right way. Walk – don’t keep on looking at it.” ~ C. S. Lewis

What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries. ~ Matthew 10:29-31

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”  ~ Malcolm Forbes, American magazine publisher

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  ~ Jeremiah 29:11

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” ~ Helen Keller

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. ~ Zephaniah 3:17

“All your efforts to win God’s affection are unnecessary. All your fears of losing his affection are needless.” ~ Max Lucado

For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. ~ Philippians 2:13

“Every artist was first an amateur!” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~ Psalm 34:18

“Don’t let people’s compliments go to your head, and don’t let their criticisms go to your heart. The degree to which you do either of these things is the degree to which you’ll be ruled by what other people think of you.” ~ Lysa TerKeurst

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  ~ Romans 8:31-32

You may also like:

Are You Insignificant?

When to Heed or Disregard Criticism

Don’t Shut the Shades on Life

This post is part of the Whimsical Wednesday Link up

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and the Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesday Link Up

©2013 Connie Davis Johnson

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Hateful words spewed from my “friend’s” mouth.  I had worked hard in my volunteer position only to have her cut me down and question my motives.  At first, I was defensive.  Then my heart began to agree I was a terrible person.  My mind raced wondering who else may think the same of me.  Finally, I determined not to open myself to anyone ever again and was tempted to quit the position.

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Have your thoughts ever spiraled out of control leading you down a destructive path after receiving an unfair criticism?  We’re tempted to believe all criticism is true.

When trying to determine if criticism is constructive or unfair, consider the following:

  • Is the criticism meant to help me change in order to grow?  Or are the chosen words meant to cut me down and doubt my abilities?
    If someone is interested in seeing you succeed and proceed to the next level, their words should be considered.  However, if the person’s words are not constructive and are destructive then reject their opinion.
  • Is the person acting as a caring friend or is jealousy coloring their words?
    My “friend” was not being caring.  Her credibility was damaged when it became apparent she was jealous and desired to assume the position I held.
  • Is the person criticizing me in an open forum such as social media or are they using proper channels to speak with me privately either through a private message or phone call?
    Social media allows people to speak in haste.  It allows us to depersonalize others giving us permission to say whatever we feel without regard to how it will be received.  Most of these harsh comments can be disregarded.
  • Did the person share their thoughts anonymously or did they use their real name?
    As soon as a letter is received through the mail, I immediately glance at the end to find a signature.  If it is unsigned or is signed, “Anonymous,” it gets thrown in the garbage.  Anyone who is not brave enough to use their name has nothing of value to say.

After deciding the criticism is from a credible source and is meant to help you grow, it’s time to determine if it’s valid.

  • Take time to pray, look through scripture to determine if there is truth in his/her words, and read your affirmation file.  An affirmation file is a file to keep all complimentary notes received, quotes that add to self-worth, verses from the bible that reveal how God feels about you, and even verbal compliments received that have been written down and filed.
  • After seeking God on the matter, reading the bible, and looking at the affirmation file, you will be able to see things clearly.  Thoughts crowded with false, accusing, negative self talk are replaced with truth.  You’ll be able to see if there is room for growth.
  • Decide if the comments are to be disregarded or considered.  If the person’s words disagree with God’s and the comments in the affirmation file, they can probably be disregarded. However, if God uses the person’s words to reveal truth to you through convicting scripture and if there is nothing in the affirmation file to disagree, then their words should be considered.

Once you’ve determined the words are valid, make a plan of action.

  • Pray and commit to making the changes needed.
  • Take time to write down how the changes will impact your effectiveness.  This can be used as an ongoing motivational tool.
  • Determine if help is needed in making positive changes.  Will counseling or additional training improve your chances of succeeding?
  • Enlist accountability partners who will be honest with you about your progress.
  • Write down the positive impact when following through on the changes you’ve made.
  • Thank God for helping you make positive changes to your life.  And thank the person who set you on the path of growth through their constructive criticism.

When criticism is unfair, we need to ignore it and ask God to remove it from our minds and hearts.  When criticism is truly constructive, it can help grow our effectiveness and impact.

“Whoever heeds life-giving correction
will be at home among the wise.”  Proverbs 15:31 (NIV)

This post is part of a blog link up at 

http://rachelwojo.com/replacing-negative-inside-chatter-with-praise/ 

and

You may also like:

Can Anger Be Controlled?

When Someone Refuses to Forgive You

And We’re Waiting….And Waiting…..And Waiting……

©2013 Connie Davis Johnson

 

“Great God, let me walk three weeks in the footsteps of my enemy, carry the same burden, have the same trials and temptations as he, before I say one word to criticize him.” ~ An Indian Chief Prayer

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