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Why Doesn't He Send Me Flowers

The flower delivery van drove up and parked in front of the office. Seeing the van through the windows, a co-worker announced “someone” would be getting flowers. However, we all knew that “someone” was one of two people in the office. The only two people to ever receive flowers from their husbands.

The delivery driver walked around the van, opened the door, and pulled out a large, beautiful bouquet of vibrantly colored flowers.

As we looked longingly at the bouquet coming through the door, we all began to lament how our husbands lacked the “I-think-I’ll-buy-my-wife-flowers-for-no-other-reason-than-I’m-romantic-and-I-want-to-show-her-how-much-I-love-her” trait.

A sense of disappointment and irritation began to flicker deep inside me and I began to vilify my husband in my mind. What kind of a husband never thinks of doing anything romantic for his wife?! How hard is it to simply dial a phone number to order a bouquet? I mean, criminy, it’s not like the guy has to pick the flowers and wire them together to arrange in a girly vase on his own! It’s a phone call! I wonder if I can get him into a remedial romantic class somewhere!

As the day wore on, my thoughts and attitude toward my husband worsened. By the time I arrived home from work, I was determined to let him know just what I thought of his un-romanticism. Since I arrived home first, it would have to wait.

By the time my husband’s car turned into the driveway, my sharp words were ready to hurl as soon as he walked in the door. But after waiting a few minutes, I heard him leave again in my car. Curses! The intense fellowship I had planned would have to wait.

Enough time passed without my husband coming home, I had no choice but to start on supper so we could get to our son’s basketball game that night on time.

As I started frying hamburgers, I heard the garage door open and my husband pulling into the driveway. He was home. And I was ready!

When he walked in, I turned to launch into my character assassination but before any words could leave my mouth, he pulled me into a big bear hug. Fine! I’ll take the hug but THEN we are having it out.

As he continued to hug me for a full minute, he told me how he bragged on me to his co-workers about the wonderful supper I had made the night before. He began telling me how lucky he was to have a wife who was such a good cook and how amazing the burgers smelled.

He then pulled away and said, “I filled your car with gas and checked the tire pressure. One of your tires was low so I added some air. I also checked the oil which looks good for now but I need to keep my eye on it. There may be a leak and I don’t want you to break down in the country. Oh, and I returned your library books that were in your car. And I also got money from the ATM for your lunch with your friends tomorrow so you won’t have to go by the bank first.”

The more he talked, the more my anger melted away.

Each sentence was like receiving another flower. He was putting together a beautiful word bouquet before my very eyes. How could I have questioned his worth as a husband?!

Gas and oil may not be the most romantic things a girl can receive but It is romantic knowing he is concerned with my well-being and safety. He genuinely enjoys taking care of me. And he’s proud to call me his wife.

My husband may not pick up the phone and order bouquets but that’s okay. I receive plenty of bouquets through his words and actions.

My thoughts were interrupted as my husband finally ended his lovely word bloom with, “So how was your day at work?”

Disarmed, I replied, “It was……uneventful. I couldn’t wait to get home to talk to you!” *wink*

What “outside-the-vase romance” do you receive from your husband?

©2016 Connie Davis Johnson

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By Angie Faulstich

There is a danger in becoming a parent.  After I bundled up my newborn and took him into my home, that wee little one took over my entire world. It took all of my effort and more strength than I thought I had to keep my little guy alive.

From midnight feedings to mid-afternoon snacks, my mission was to keep my little one fed, dry, warm, and safe. But, as time has passed, Aidan is becoming more and more independent, and he needs me a little less with each passing day.

After an extended break from school over the Christmas holidays, Aidan went back to school, and a large chunk of my heart left with him.  The loss feels like- well, to be honest, it feels like you may just as well have carved out a piece of my heart with a spoon.

That’s how it felt in the beginning as well.  His first semester of kindergarten did not go well for me.  I felt alone and lost, without a purpose.  I grew tired of spending my days alone at home.  And while still not sleeping well most of the time, I just felt tired.  So as the days of Christmas break came to a close and there were no more snow days or 2 hour delays in sight, I began to fear that the emptiness would return.

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It was an emptiness that could not be filled by anything of this world.  Not hobbies that I enjoy.  Not my favorite foods.  Not entertaining movies- even the good clean ones.  Not even the thought of taking on a job outside of the home could fill the empty hole in my heart.

My life lay before me as a beautiful tapestry cut into a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.  The puzzle was finished save one last piece that should have filled a hole near the center of the picture.  And as hard as I searched, high and low, around the puzzle, on the floor, inside the box, in the cabinet from which the puzzle came, I could not find the missing piece.  It was lost.  And I could not fill the empty hole in my heart that I knew had been stolen from me when my son went away to school, and I was no longer needed.

I sunk into bed after their first day back to school, and I cried, “Lord, I cannot live alone anymore.  I feel like I’ve been left behind.  There is emptiness in my soul that I cannot fill, and I do not want to be alone anymore.”

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And then startling words flooded into the cavern of my soul.  From somewhere deep within, I heard the words: “You don’t have to be alone.”

Instantly, I knew He was right.  The Savior of my soul was the missing piece of the puzzle.  And it suddenly dawned on me.  No matter what stage of life I find myself in.  No matter whether my children are home or away at school.  No matter where in the world I find myself, as I often dream of traveling and going on great adventures.  No man, child, friend, food, or entertainment can ever become the missing piece in my puzzle.  For if they do, I have left myself in grave danger and in desperate need of the only One who can ever fill the missing piece of my heart- and that is Jesus.

He has now promised to walk with me through these days of uncertainty.  And I will each and every morning invite Him to lead me through them.  And somehow now I feel hope.  Hope that one day I will feel whole again.  Peace that He will mend my broken heart.  That He is and always will the missing piece to my puzzle.  If I make Him that piece, I will be whole.

I just have to keep inviting Him in, and I can’t let anything else take His place.

Is there an emptiness in your life that needs to be filled?  Is God the piece that is missing?

My incredible guest writer today is Angie Faulstich.  Angie is a child of God, a mother of two bright and wonderful sons, and a wife to an amazing husband.  She is the author of a weekly newspaper column entitled “Finding Peace” that encourages readers to turn to God for all of their needs so that they, too, may experience everlasting peace.

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© 2014 Connie Davis Johnson

The request came at a point in my day when I was exhausted.  “Mom, will you come outside and watch for meteors with us?”  The request materialized a couple of hours ago at 10 PM.  One of the nights of the Perseid Meteor Shower.  Not only was I physically drained but I still needed to make a grocery list and write a blog post.

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“Mom, over here!”  On a beautiful and cool night we had been invited to a friend’s house for a party.  I had just filled my plate with food and was heading to sit by the pool with some friends when I heard my son call to me.  I noticed he was sitting alone and my heart evoked the pain of having nobody to talk to when everyone else is having a great time visiting with each other.  So I quickly diverted my path from the table filled with friends laughing and having fun to sit with my little boy.

“Mom, will you play volleyball with me in the yard?”  Although, my body was tired from already doing a hard workout and looking at a daunting to-do list, my daughter’s request could not be ignored.  She was working hard to expand her skills in the sport she loved most.  I mustered the little bit of energy I had left and used it to bump the ball, run after serves, and dive for kills.

With three kids, the requests for Mom seem unending.  Unfortunately, my task list and schedule also seem endless.

When my kids asked if I would join them on the deck for the meteor shower, I was tempted to say, “Not tonight.”  But then I thought back to the days when they were smaller and the many bedtime stories I would read to them.  Scheming against going to sleep, there was always, “Just one more, Mom.”

Now I searched my memory for when the very last request for a bedtime story came.  I could not remember that night and I was left to question, did I end with a, “Not tonight,” or a “You bet we can read one more.”

Our kids only grow up once.  Someone wise once said in describing raising kids, “The days are long but the years are short.”  The long days often tempt us with a “no” answer.  There is always something else competing for our time on a daily basis.

But as our kids grow, it’s important to remember there will be a last time for certain requests.

  • “Mom, will you hold me?”
  • “Mom, will you play a game with me?”
  • “Mom, will you read me a book?”
  • “Mom, can I make cookies with you?”
  • “Mom, can we do something special together today?”

The thought of not knowing when the last request will come encourages me to say, “yes” more than I say, “no.”

After considering my children’s fleeting requests, I donned a sweatshirt and sweatpants and headed outside with my two excited children to watch for meteors.

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Without computers, phones, video games, iPods, and other distracting influences, we began a lovely and focused conversation.

  • We contemplated if bugs sleep.
  • We questioned God’s choice of sound for certain animals upon hearing an owl hooting.
  • I answered questions about the bible.
  • We discussed the upcoming school year and all the fear and excitement it’s generating.
  • We oohed and awed over each meteor we saw and took a tally of how many each saw.
  • We saw a bat.  A BAT???  Okay, I’ll admit the bat sighting made me ponder if my love for my children really needed to supersede my grocery list.  But I planted myself in my seat and proceeded to fling my arms in a frenzy when a moth would pass by fearing it was the bat.  I soon became the entertaining headliner eclipsing the meteor shower

Although my grocery list sits blank on the kitchen counter and I’m working on this blog post at midnight, I feel good about my decision.

Grocery lists will await me the rest of my life.  The opportunity to write will most likely continue long after my kids have grown and moved on with their own lives.  However, the time I have with my children at home is fading fast.  I want to make the most of it while I have the opportunity.

Are you in the midst of busy days while raising kids?  Are you inundated with your kid’s requests?  Which ones will you miss most someday?  Will you begin to say, “yes” more than, “no”?

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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson

 

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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson