Archives For insecurity
“Connie, you’re just a slut and I have no doubt you will be pregnant before you’re 18.” Those were the words of my “Christian” Vice Principal at my private school after he learned I sneaked out of my house the night before. He presumed upon what I had done (and was wrong by the way) and chose the most hurtful words possible. Words I found devastating!
The news reached the other teachers and each, with the exception of one, treated me as if I wore a scarlet letter. I was a disappointment. I was someone who failed at life before I had even reached the age of 16. I better marry rich because I would never amount to anything in life.
They had me convinced. If they, being Christians, thought so ill of me, I couldn’t imagine what God thought of me. So by the end of the day, I decided I was done with Christians. I was done with church. I was done with God.
Have you ever been belittled? It can be through biting sarcasm or serious insults. Have you ever ached to have that all-important person in your life believe in you only to have them ignore your greatest accomplishments? Has anyone made you feel as though you would amount to nothing in life?
Take heart, there are others also.
David, in the bible, is also among the rejected.
David is the youngest of 8 boys. The runt of the family. When Samuel, the prophet, shows up at the door to anoint a new King (per God’s instruction) among one of the brothers, David was not even invited to the feast. He was told to keep the sheep while David’s dad paraded each of his brothers in front of Samuel.
After each son is rejected by God, Samuel has to ask if there are any other boys. Only then, did David’s dad mention his existence. David had killed bears and lions to protect the sheep but those accomplishments did not impress his dad. He thought of him as the least. The hobbit. The one who would probably never advance above the lowly position of shepherd.
When people we admire don’t believe in us, their negativity can seep into our conscious and breed insecurity. It’s not long before we are repeating their words to ourselves, convinced of their validity.
But David did not buy into the belief he was insignificant. How did he escape the prison of insecurity?
He believed in the person God said he was more than the person his dad and brothers said he was.
Can we drown the voices of the world? The loud voices telling us we’re not good enough? That we’ve made too many mistakes? That we will never do anything of importance?
Is it possible to listen to the voice of God telling us we are valued? We are worthy? We are significant?
Thankfully, the day I walked away from God on that dark day in High School was the day He pursued me.
When I came home, my mom could tell something was wrong. Even though I didn’t want to tell her knowing she would be mortified from the embarrassment I caused her at school, she would not leave me alone. I had to tell her. I told her word for word what the Vice Principal had said. Her face became red and little veins popped out in her forehead. I knew it was a mistake to tell her and braced for the punishment to come.
Instead, she turned, grabbed her keys, and walked out the door. I had never pushed her so far that she had to escape from my presence so now I was terrified.
Later, I learned she drove across town, marched into that Vice Principals office and made him wish he had wandered into a Mother Bear’s den.
That was the day I realized my mom was on my side. She saw something in me that deserved to be defended. She believed in me. She knew I was capable of being great and that I could do something significant with my life. And she didn’t appreciate anyone telling me differently.
My mom taught me imperfect Christians who make frightful mistakes is no reason to give up on a perfect God. People cannot do what God has already done. God is the One who gifted me, assigned my value, and wrote a perfect plan for my life.
If you are struggling with insecurity, I encourage you;
- Look past the bad others think of you and the mistakes you’ve made. God forgives and redeems.
- See the value God assigned and the beauty He gave you.
- Rather than walking in the plan others presume on your life, walk in the perfect plan God already wrote for your life. Remember, He even took into consideration all the mistakes you would ever make as He made your life plan.
You are significant, worthy, beautiful, important, gifted, and have value. He believes in you!
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” ~ Psalm 139:13-15
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11
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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson