Archives For no more perfect moms

Calan and I

After coming through the gate for our local High School’s football game on a clear and cool Friday evening, people from our small town began asking my husband and me if we had seen our daughter, Calan, yet.

Being 15 years old, Calan had asked to go to a friend’s house after school.  From there, she went straight to the game.  Therefore, I had not seen her since that morning.  So the repeated question made me wonder what she had done.

As we made our way to our seats, many friends smiled and simply shook their heads.  Whatever Calan had done was obviously entertaining.  My interest and curiosity mounted.

Suddenly our attention turned toward the field as our team scored a touchdown.  The cheerleaders began to cheer loudly and the band struck up a triumphant tune.  It was then I spotted her.

Running down the sideline carrying a gigantic school flag was Calan.  Her entire face was painted red and white and she wore red pants with vertical black stripes.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

CAlan facepaint

My kid!

MY kid?!

A face-painting, wacky-dressing, super fan?!

This was not what I expected.  I wasn’t sure how to feel.  What would her peers think?  What would my friends think?  What would the teachers and administrators think?

A friend sitting nearby read the emotions on my face and said, “She’s a great girl who is very well liked.  She hangs out with a great group of girls and she is her own person unafraid of what others think.  Other parents would love to be in your shoes.”

Wisdom just when I needed it most.

I thought of my daily prayers for her.  Each day of her life I’ve asked God to give her confidence and boldness.  I’ve prayed for her to be well liked and not to lose her self-assurance when someone dislikes her.

However, my expectations in those prayers included her standing up for her convictions when challenged, wearing modest clothes rather than racy styles, liking what she sees in the mirror, and being thankful for the person God made her to be.  Not this display of super fan craziness in front of me.

As I sat there contemplating, I realized she is confident and not only stands up for her convictions but does it respectfully.  Sweatpants and t-shirts are her preferable clothing rather than anything revealing.  She doesn’t feel the need to wear makeup to increase her likability and embraces the personality qualities God gave her.

My eyes wandered back to the girl running up and down the field looking like a lunatic.  My heart swelled with the love I felt for her.

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I couldn’t deny the fun Calan was having while being confident and bold.  Cheerleaders and football players were giving her high fives as she ran past.  Students were cheering her on as well as the parents.  Teachers and parents alike were laughing and complimenting her courage.  Everyone was having fun!

When my daughter does not live up to my expectations I have to stop and reflect.  Many times, I come to the realization it isn’t my daughter who needs to change but my own desires.

When I truly consider the person God created, Calan far exceeds any of my own expectations.

This post is part of Jill Savage’s Third Thursday Blog Hop.  To read more about today’s topic, “No More Perfect Kids,” click here

If you’ve liked what you’ve read here, please follow me by clicking the “Follow” button on the left.  You can also follow me on Facebook, TwitterLinkedIn, or by RSS feed.

UPDATE: This post is featured in Jill Savage’s book, No More Perfect Moms. Order your copy here

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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson

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Perfect Mom? HARDLY!!!!

February 4, 2013 — 7 Comments

Before leaving on a vacation to Walt Disney World, our favorite vacation spot, I researched the new rides since our last trip to see the famous mouse.  However, on this particular trip, there was a new ride called Dinosaur that I didn’t bother researching.  My kids were 11, 8, and 6 at the time so in my mom heart, I knew they would love this ride.

153172096After boarding the Dinosaur ride located in Animal Kingdom, I immediately regretted not looking into this ride further.  We were transported into a dark and creepy, prehistoric forest that put is in the midst of dangerous dinosaurs.  The all-terrain vehicle took us past dinosaurs, each scarier than the last.  All extremely life-like.  I should have expected nothing less from Disney.

As we turned a blind corner, we came upon an enormous dinosaur with a deafening roar that towered over the vehicle.  It was then I realized my six-year-old son had the worst seat on the ride.  The dinosaur’s mouth was headed right for him.  Since I was behind my son on the other side of the vehicle, I could do nothing to comfort him.  Fortunately, the ride quickly diverted away from the dinosaur and moved on.  From where I sat, my son seemed fine so I breathed a sigh of relief he would not be traumatized for life.

When we finally reached the end of the ride, my son bolted from the vehicle.  Thinking he was excited about getting to the next ride quickly, my husband ran after him to avoid losing him in the midst of the crowd outside.  Meanwhile, I made my way to the area where our ride picture awaited viewing.

As soon as I saw the picture, I realized it was snapped at the point when the enormous dinosaur “threatened” my son.  My son’s face was one of sheer terror.  The impending doom he felt was obvious.  The picture showed a boy convinced he was about to become the dino-lunch special.

I suddenly realized my son had sprinted from the building to get away from the danger.  Now a perfect mom would have immediately left the area to find her son and assure him there are no longer any dinosaurs.  To sooth his fears and let him know he was safe because mommy would never let anything happen to him.

However, I’m not a perfect mom.  Being imperfect, I took one look at the picture and dissolved into a fit of laughter.  I yelled for my husband to come back because “you have to see this picture.”  He dragged our son back into the building that held the threat in order to look at this classic picture.  Being an imperfect dad, he doubled over with laughter.  We snorted, chortled, guffawed, and laughed until tears were streaming down our faces and our stomachs hurt.  Needless to say, we bought the picture.

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Proof of my imperfect mom moment. Our two daughters are also pictured as they hide their eyes from the terror of seeing their brother eaten by the dinosaur.

This is only 1 moment of many where my imperfections have stood out.  To be perfectly honest I’ve also shown I’m imperfect when…..

……..my kid’s behavior is so mortifying in public, I want to pretend she’s lost and I’m merely trying to help her find her mommy.

……..my smoke alarm announces supper before I can.

……..vacations have sometimes felt like a prison sentence with 5 smelly, selfish, surly inmates and I’m the ringleader.

……..my bathroom has been so dirty, I’m relieved everyone is up-to-date on their shots.

……..I look at my reflection in horror in the morning and wonder if there was a gravity surge while in the shower.

Recently, I had the opportunity to read Jill Savage’s newest book, “No More Perfect Moms.”  Her honesty and willingness to be “real” made me realize I’m not alone in my imperfections.  Although we have high expectations for ourselves and others, we need to realize nobody is perfect.

NMPM coverJill issues a call to action in this book.

  • A call to change our expectations.
  • A call to accept ourselves and our imperfections.
  • A call to accept others and our differences.
  • A call to drop the perfection infection and enjoy life as it is now in all its imperfect glory.
  • A call to end all mommy wars.

As moms, we do our best to give our kids the best lives possible.  However, there will be mistakes.  There will be things we wish we could “do over.”  And even times we wish we would have researched a dinosaur ride better.  But be encouraged.  Our imperfect moments can become great memories.

The infamous “Dinosaur” picture is a family favorite.  Even for my son who is now 11.  It’s picture-proof of my imperfections.  But after reading this book, I can now say, “I’m an imperfect mom and I’m okay with that.”

Buy “No More Perfect Moms” during the week of Feb. 4-9 and you will receive over $100 in free resources.  More information can be found here.

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©2013 Connie Davis Johnson